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Music of the Night

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Everyone has a price. And some residents of San Jose have proved that theirs is relatively low. In order to curtail the complaints of angry airport neighbors who have recently been subjected to noisy America West flights returning from Vegas at 1:30 in the morning, the FAA has bribed the residents with nothing more than an iPod and an apology.

The flights, which started earlier this month, although technically allowed due to the type of plane being used (a 50-passenger regional CRJ200 jet), ” violates the spirit” of the 11:30pm late-night flight restriction which is in effect for the San Jose International Airport so that the surrounding population can get a good nights sleep. FAA agents hand delivered the iPods themselves yesterday morning to every house in the neighborhood adjacent to the airport. The effort is said to be costing a cool $9.4 million. Rumor has it that although the iPods were free, the accompanying headsets cost $3.



”This is a great solution as far as I’m concerned,” said one neighbor who was “lucky” enough to get an iPod loaded with Kelly Clarkson’s new album.

Not everyone is so easily bought, however. One recipient was more than a bit peeved to find his iPod was loaded with old speeches once given by a Mayor that he didn’t much care for. “I avoided them during his term,” he said “so what use do I have for them now?

In trying to kill two birds with one stone and boost the local economy, and FAA spokesman encouraged others interested in the “free iPod program” to hire a real estate broker and buy a new house in the “airport approach zone.”

As far as the FAA is concerned, they’ve done their part and made nice with the locals. They will continue to allow the curfew-breaking flight to land in the wee hours of the morning and they hope that light sleepers will drown out the noise with their favorite tunes and stop their bitching.

Those who can’t be bought should contact San Jose’s CAAP (Citizens Against Airport Pollution) organization to join the fight against the flights.

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